As a Parent, How Can I Support My Budding Young Musician?
If you have arrived at this page (revised from the original blog post), you are clearly motivated to help your young child learn. Below, I have listed some ideas for how parents (even those not musically educated) can heighten their child's learning experience.
First, a shameless plug for the benefits of studying music: I can't think of many disciplines that cover more bases in the creative, emotional, physical, and mental development of a child than musical study. Through careful study and participation in musical groups, not only will your child have a lot of fun feeding his or her need for expression, but he or she will hone a host of skills including: dedication, perseverance, problem-solving, the ability to work in a group, leadership, and cooperation. He or she will also create an outlet to use for both self-expression and sometimes self-soothing. Mastering an instrument (through practice) provides an incredible opportunity to learn how to listen critically, assess performance, and create plans to solve problems. It starts at an early age, and these traits can transfer to future success in all disciplines, so, what's not to love about taking up an instrument? Plus, you get to watch it unfold. The process is amazing.
If you have a young learner (generally in primary or early middle school), even if you have no musical background at all, there are many ways that you can support your child's progress on his or her instrument.
Be sure your child has everything he or she needs for his studies, including, if applicable, a music stand. I am always surprised to find that students who have been studying for years do not have a music stand for proper posture and practice. There are so many habits and problems with tone that can be developed from reading music off of a bed or desk or table.
Help your child to find a practice spot that she can call her own. It's OK to practice anywhere in the house, but if your child has a special place, it will be easier, wherever that place may be. If the place can be tucked away a bit from traffic and distraction, that is even better, but you might want it to be OUT of the bedroom so you can hear it and be involved with it (more on that later). If your child likes to have variety and move around to different places on different days, that is great also, as long as that it doesn't create too much distraction.
Give your child lessons, if you can. Band directors are amazing people. Not only do they have to know all of the instruments, but they have to simultaneously conduct, assess, and correct anything anyone is needing help with on a minimum of ten instruments during band time. This means your band director is pulled in many directions during a short band rehearsal. There may not be time for the director to correct everything he or she sees in every student during band time. A private teacher is yours for a certain amount of time per week. He will be able to address it all one-on-one and help your child overcome any issues he or she is having.
If you do choose lessons:
Visit the lessons from time to time and converse with the teacher as to how he or she would like you to help and support your child's practice. Be sure your child knows that line of communication is there between the parent and the teacher, and that you are interested in what's going on.
Provide your child with some inspiration from time to time. Look up your local symphony orchestra, and see a children's concert. Go to the high school band's holiday concerts. Go see a local community band. Find a local music school or conservatory and ask to attend a recital (they are free) in which your child's instrument will be performed. Play music that includes your child's instrument on the music player. Look up YouTube performances on that instrument. The possibilities are endless, and may open up your child's drive to achieve something he or she never would have imagined without another player to model.
Find subtle ways to encourage performance. Just by sitting with your child during practice, you are already teaching him or her that playing in front of someone is normal. Make it normal for people in your family - friends, relatives, etc to quietly flit in and out to hear your child play. No big displays are necessary - just a few extra guests during part of a practice session now and again. If playing with people around and playing for people becomes "normal," it is less stressful to have to play in front of an audience later. A child who plays alone most of the time might find a recital performance to be very nerve-wracking.
No matter what:
MOST IMPORTANTLY (and I can't stress this enough):
Sit with your children when they practice and actively listen. The younger your children, the more they need this part of your support, but this can continue as they get older. You don't have to know anything about music to do this. You don't have to be available for every practice to do this. But do it as often as you can.
Ask questions:
"How did you learn that?"
"How do you put the instrument together?"
"What note is that?"
"How do you count that?"
"What does this mean?"
"Can you show me how you did that?"
"Can you show me how to do that, too?"
"I'd like to learn about that."
"Hmmm, what do you do when something is hard to help you learn it?"
Kids love to show you stuff. They love to know you are interested. The secret benefit of these question and answer sessions is that explaining things to you and/or showing you how things work reinforces their learning. By teaching you, they absorb the content more thoroughly. Also, asking questions opens up dialogue about their goals, needs and frustrations, which you can take to the teacher if needed.
Just be there with your child. Listen actively. Ask about what your child does. Children are inspired by your enthusiasm and interest. Parents are inspired by the amazing process of how a child grows and learns. It's a win-win situation.
First, a shameless plug for the benefits of studying music: I can't think of many disciplines that cover more bases in the creative, emotional, physical, and mental development of a child than musical study. Through careful study and participation in musical groups, not only will your child have a lot of fun feeding his or her need for expression, but he or she will hone a host of skills including: dedication, perseverance, problem-solving, the ability to work in a group, leadership, and cooperation. He or she will also create an outlet to use for both self-expression and sometimes self-soothing. Mastering an instrument (through practice) provides an incredible opportunity to learn how to listen critically, assess performance, and create plans to solve problems. It starts at an early age, and these traits can transfer to future success in all disciplines, so, what's not to love about taking up an instrument? Plus, you get to watch it unfold. The process is amazing.
If you have a young learner (generally in primary or early middle school), even if you have no musical background at all, there are many ways that you can support your child's progress on his or her instrument.
Be sure your child has everything he or she needs for his studies, including, if applicable, a music stand. I am always surprised to find that students who have been studying for years do not have a music stand for proper posture and practice. There are so many habits and problems with tone that can be developed from reading music off of a bed or desk or table.
Help your child to find a practice spot that she can call her own. It's OK to practice anywhere in the house, but if your child has a special place, it will be easier, wherever that place may be. If the place can be tucked away a bit from traffic and distraction, that is even better, but you might want it to be OUT of the bedroom so you can hear it and be involved with it (more on that later). If your child likes to have variety and move around to different places on different days, that is great also, as long as that it doesn't create too much distraction.
Give your child lessons, if you can. Band directors are amazing people. Not only do they have to know all of the instruments, but they have to simultaneously conduct, assess, and correct anything anyone is needing help with on a minimum of ten instruments during band time. This means your band director is pulled in many directions during a short band rehearsal. There may not be time for the director to correct everything he or she sees in every student during band time. A private teacher is yours for a certain amount of time per week. He will be able to address it all one-on-one and help your child overcome any issues he or she is having.
If you do choose lessons:
Visit the lessons from time to time and converse with the teacher as to how he or she would like you to help and support your child's practice. Be sure your child knows that line of communication is there between the parent and the teacher, and that you are interested in what's going on.
Provide your child with some inspiration from time to time. Look up your local symphony orchestra, and see a children's concert. Go to the high school band's holiday concerts. Go see a local community band. Find a local music school or conservatory and ask to attend a recital (they are free) in which your child's instrument will be performed. Play music that includes your child's instrument on the music player. Look up YouTube performances on that instrument. The possibilities are endless, and may open up your child's drive to achieve something he or she never would have imagined without another player to model.
Find subtle ways to encourage performance. Just by sitting with your child during practice, you are already teaching him or her that playing in front of someone is normal. Make it normal for people in your family - friends, relatives, etc to quietly flit in and out to hear your child play. No big displays are necessary - just a few extra guests during part of a practice session now and again. If playing with people around and playing for people becomes "normal," it is less stressful to have to play in front of an audience later. A child who plays alone most of the time might find a recital performance to be very nerve-wracking.
No matter what:
- Enthusiastically encourage and reward practice, especially spontaneous practice. My two young learners are five and eight years old. Both take piano lessons. They wake me up time and time again (usually at 6 A.M.) playing on the piano. It is beautiful. They are doing it willingly. I am not going to ask them to stop. I lie in bed and enjoy it. My parents never asked me to stop practicing because it was "bothering" them, and I am forever grateful that I always felt their support in that way.
- Help your child establish a routine. Little kids can't do this on their own. Decide when practice time is, and help them remember to do it. Make charts. Set goals. Reward achieving these goals. Little ones don't have to practice for great lengths of time, but they need to practice frequently.
- Be complimentary and supportive, but careful of the generic "high praise for everything" phenomenon ("You are so smart! You are so great! Everything is perfect!"). Have you read this NY Times Article? A great read for how to support your little student's effort in everything he or she does. Support effort, perseverance and a willingness to try new things most enthusiastically of all.
MOST IMPORTANTLY (and I can't stress this enough):
Sit with your children when they practice and actively listen. The younger your children, the more they need this part of your support, but this can continue as they get older. You don't have to know anything about music to do this. You don't have to be available for every practice to do this. But do it as often as you can.
Ask questions:
"How did you learn that?"
"How do you put the instrument together?"
"What note is that?"
"How do you count that?"
"What does this mean?"
"Can you show me how you did that?"
"Can you show me how to do that, too?"
"I'd like to learn about that."
"Hmmm, what do you do when something is hard to help you learn it?"
Kids love to show you stuff. They love to know you are interested. The secret benefit of these question and answer sessions is that explaining things to you and/or showing you how things work reinforces their learning. By teaching you, they absorb the content more thoroughly. Also, asking questions opens up dialogue about their goals, needs and frustrations, which you can take to the teacher if needed.
Just be there with your child. Listen actively. Ask about what your child does. Children are inspired by your enthusiasm and interest. Parents are inspired by the amazing process of how a child grows and learns. It's a win-win situation.