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Goal Setting

6/17/2017

We all know the power of having a plan, right? Plans are the road maps that get us where we want to go. Of course, where we want to go (our "destination" or "goal") is crucial to the plan. Goals are important because they give us direction, and even more importantly, because achieving them empowers us toward higher levels of progress.

Today's post will discuss some ideas on how and why to set goals. Goals can be simple or complicated, and long or short-term. It's important to consider the type of goal you are setting when you choose goals for yourself.

I'm going to break this down into a suggestion for several types of goals that people typically make. It is up to you which categories you choose! You do not have to choose them all. Start with #4 and work your way backward. If you are playing at an advanced level, be sure to choose all of them.

Long Term Goals. These are your hopes and dreams. Your "reach" goals. What they may be depends upon where you are in your studies, but in general these are goals for the far future: goals for one, five, 10, or 20 years from now. Think big. If you are just starting out, go with a one or two year goal. If you are already pretty invested in your studies, think bigger and go for 5 years. If you're in college or have graduated, peek into the future and imagine where you'd like to find yourself 10 to 20 years from now.
Mid-Range Goals. These are your "achievable goals." These are not just dreams; you can feel that these goals can really be a reality if you work toward them. Some examples might be: learn all the notes on the flute (beginners), learn all your scales, make first chair in band or youth symphony (middle and high schoolers), get into music school (dedicated high-schoolers) and whatever goal works for the college player (competitions, placements, repertoire and technique advancement, juries goals, grad school auditions, etc).
Short-Term (Weekly or Monthly) Goals. These are your "deadline" goals, or your "current project" goals. Goals like this are usually related to your upcoming lessons, learning a new skill, recital preparation, or audition preparation. They can also be related to how often you will practice in a week (including a plan on how to achieve that).
Every Day Goals. These are things you need to do every day to succeed. You should probably have a short to medium list of these. These should be the most realistic and easiest goals to tick off your list. They should be super-achievable. For procrastinators, the goals might be centered around the improvement of your practice habits. The goal list can be as simple as: remember to bring your flute home, or practice before going out today. For regular practicers, these goals will relate to fixing problem spots, giving attention to areas we've been neglecting, being sure to work out passages until we truly know them, reaching a certain metronome marking, or just remembering to work on something that really needs work. These types of goals change at each practice depending upon what you need. These are the most important goals of all, because without them, we cannot get to our longer-term goals.

Some more goal-setting tips:

Very important: not everyone needs to set ALL of these categories of goals (at least not at first). If you are new to goal-setting, it's more important than anything else to start slow and set yourself up for success. As I mentioned above, our every day and short-term goals are the building blocks to all future success, so it's perfect to start there, and depending upon your level of drive, it's OK to not have any goals other than that. No reason to overwhelm yourself. The most important thing to do is to pick a goal.
Make lists under each goal ("the plan!"). For each set of goals we create, it's important to also consider (or better yet, list) what needs to happen in order for them to come true. "Make All State Band" is a great goal. Just remember to ask yourself what you need to do or learn to get there. Everyone's list will be different! List whatever it is that you know you need to get there. If your goal for today's practice is: "learn the G Major scale," then you need to create a list of what needs to be done in order for that to happen. Plan how you will achieve this.
Consider your personality: If you are really new to this idea, and you are constantly feeling like you need to be more organized or more driven, then it's important to take small bites. No one enjoys the feeling of failure that results in not doing what we set out to do, so pick something that is very achievable, like "practice one extra day this week," or "repeat tricky passages slowly today" or "check my hand position before starting each piece." If you have been at this for a while, or you are a very driven person, then your goals might be a bit more intense. You have the power to decide. The important thing is to pick something!
Be realistic. Choose goals you know you can check off. Think about whether these goals will actually work for you. It's a disappointing feeling to make a to-do list that is too long, and to discover that we couldn't nearly complete it all. It can make us feel bad about ourselves. We might need to make our lists a bit shorter, and whittle them down to the very most important one to three items we might want to achieve for that practice or week.
Don't worry if you are "not very good at this." You just haven't set yourself up for success in the past! It's the ability to check things off that gives us a feeling of accomplishment. Short-term goals need to be "check-off-able!" The feeling of accomplishment we get when we've checked off everything on our list feels so good that it encourages us to keep doing it. This encouraging feeling turns into what I call "drive." You don't have to be naturally driven; you can teach yourself to be this way by being careful to choose goals that will actually work.
Once you create your goals (and your plan), be careful not to skip too far ahead. If you get so excited about what you want to do several years from now that you skip straight to it, you might be neglecting important skills that you will need to be successful. A great teacher can help keep you on track and to be sure your basics are well-covered before jumping too far ahead. You'll get there!

Remember: one of the reasons many of us (me included) avoid making lists is because we make lists that we can't possibly achieve because there are too many things on them. Choose smaller lists. Start with just one thing! Just start. Because once you do it, and check it off, you have achieved something. And then you can move on to the next thing. Each item you check off moves you a step further toward one of your goals. It's a good feeling.

Good luck! Please contact me with any questions or comments!

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Effective Lesson-Parenting Tips

5/11/2017

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I meet a parent for the first time at the very first lesson. If the student is younger, I may see the parent at the door for hellos and goodbyes at future lessons. If the student is older, I may not see the parent again until recital time because the student is simply dropped off and picked up or drives him or herself. Of course, there may be other contact over the phone or electronically, but that is often the gist of it.

There are other times when a parent contacts me almost weekly, discusses progress with me, shares with me their child's goals, their hopes for their child, and even provides me with a repertoire list outlining the pieces they have decided that we should work on. Sometimes they call to tell me that a lesson was missing something or to request I cover certain material during a lesson.

Obviously, there is quite a range in "lesson parenting" styles. How much involvement SHOULD a parent have in his or her child's lessons? There really isn't a simple answer to this question. It depends on your personality, your child, and your needs.

Here are a few tips for parents to help actively engage in your child's lesson progress, encourage practice and personal growth, and create a great relationship with your child's teacher.

1. Be involved in setting your child's practice habits. I have sometimes heard parents say that they'd like the child to do this on their own and they don't want to force it. However, I beg to differ with that opinion. I have been playing the flute for maybe thirty-five years now, and I still have to drag myself by the ear to practice at times! The most successful students I have taught have had great support from their family in creating, maintaining and changing habits. Practicing regularly is a habit, like brushing your teeth or making your bed. Please require and encourage your child to practice regularly rather than to binge practice the night before a lesson or concert. Five minutes every day is actually a better habit than two hours once a week. It establishes regularity. Setting a regular habit of working at a task is also an incredibly useful life skill for all future endeavors.

I wrote an article on how to support your student's practice habits HERE . I'd love it if you took the time to read this one.

2. Communicate with your teacher. I'm a pretty communicative teacher, so I send out reminders, newsletters, and I make calls as needed, but I still like when parents stop by before or after a lesson to say hello. It serves as a reminder to the teacher of who you are (it's easy to forget a new face after six months of not seeing it!) and it opens the door for any progress reports or suggestions to be passed along personally. It strengthens the relationship.

How much communication is enough? It's really your choice, and depends upon your motives and your personal style. Certainly if your child has some learning challenges, or you are working on supporting more positive behavior during lesson time, weekly communication might be necessary to support the goals you are creating together with the teacher. The teacher needs to know about any current learning needs so she can support all the good work being done at home and in school. Your communication and collaboration are necessary in this case.

Parents who micro-manage lessons regarding content and goals are obviously very invested in the child's progress. This eagerness and investment is a good thing. Too much decision-making regarding repertoire and lesson content, however, may create two unwanted situations that perhaps were not your intention. First, it can confuse your child to have two people making these decisions separately for him or her. It's like when a parent coaches a child from the sidelines. Who does the child listen to? The parent or the coach? It's a bit uncomfortable to put a child in the position of having to decide which (often conflicting) advice to follow. Secondly, it eventually leads to an uncomfortable feeling in the teacher that you do not trust her expertise. Any feeling of mistrust for a parent or teacher, misunderstood or otherwise, doesn't bode well for the relationship.

In the above-mentioned case, it's always a good idea to ask yourself if you really DO trust your teacher's expertise. If the answer is yes, then keep communicating, but try to sit back and let the teacher do his or her thing. Try to trust in the process. If you discover that you really don't feel like you trust the teacher, it's probably better to find another teacher whose method you trust more, rather than to over-coach from the sidelines. Of course, openly communicate your needs before switching teachers. I wrote a post about this subject also, so feel free to click and read!

3. Listen to your child play, in a neutral way. Much of this is covered in this article, but the gist of it is to take some time once in a while to either sit and listen or even to call from the kitchen "I really like that one!" If you don't know what to say or it seems your child is struggling, ask questions. ("What do you like about that one? What is the biggest challenge about that one? What do you do to solve that?") Questions like this can help your children figure out what they need to do themselves, without you needing to have any expertise at all!

4. Provide the opportunity to hear and model great players. You don't need to spend money or get out of the house to provide exposure to great playing. In our house, sometimes we have musical "theme nights" at dinner. The themes might be Jazz Night, Latin Night, Classic Rock Night, or even "Italian Music" night. Amazon, Spotify and Pandora can provide you with an endless number of choices. I'm sure there are even "flute" channels you can play! We just play the music in the background while we eat. YouTube is a great resource for performances. Local high schools have band, orchestra, jazz, and choir concerts. They are usually free or low-cost. Music schools have recitals you can attend for free. I take my kids to the high school jazz festivals whenever I can. Try to get out once a year.

Of course, if your teacher is a performer, it might be a great tribute to your teacher, to the arts, and to your child's understanding of your teacher's level of expertise if you can manage to go hear him or her play. I also wrote a bit more about this subject, and you can read that article here.

Studying music is an empowering experience for anyone. Your support of regular practice habits, your open relationship with your child's teacher, and your help exposing your child to a variety of music to model all add up to create a great experience. Have at it and enjoy the ride!

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I'm Frustrated: Should I Switch to Another Teacher?

1/19/2017

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How do I know when it would be best to switch teachers?

This is a question many people ask themselves, mostly because they are unhappy with aspects of their lessons, their teacher's policies, their progress, or how they compare to their peers. There is no cut and dry answer to this question, but I can give some hints.

Just because you may be discontented with some aspects of your lessons, it may or may not be a sign that it’s time to make a change. It really depends. Your feelings here may be extremely valid, but they may also be a hint that you and your teacher might simply benefit from some better communication.

I have noticed that there are times when people simply give up on a teacher without communicating first. They just move on to another. I can tell you also that many (not all, but many) people who do this will eventually end up feeling the same way about the next teacher. If you find this has happened many times, you may benefit from getting up the courage to ask questions of your teacher, and to ask about issues that are bothering you. It’s uncomfortable for some people, but it’s very worth it!

Here are some basic guidelines to setting up effective communication at the start of lessons:

Set Expectations Upfront

Lessons are not a dictatorship; you and your parents do have some say in what you are hoping to gain from lessons, the learning style that works best for you, and the level of time and dedication that you are willing to put toward your lessons. There is some give-and-take available here, but I urge you to realize that this is what your first phone interviews and your first “trial” lesson are for.

The teacher takes his or her time to explain expectations and policies during early communication, and this is your chance to mention any conflict you may have with what is presented. Waiting until later will make things more difficult. You are using this time to discover your compatibility with your new teacher’s style.

Please, don’t feel that you’ll “work around” an issue when it comes up. For example, if the teacher’s policies don’t match your own needs, this teacher may not be the one for you. Attempting to change, re-write or make exceptions to studio policies on your own is a huge step toward creating conflict. If you have a request, please do ask upfront about a possible change or exception before committing to lessons.

Full Disclosure:

When you do meet with your teacher for the first time, please do share with him or her your current playing issues, your hopes, your dreams, and your personal goals (many teachers will actually ask you this, but if they don’t, please do share). Be honest. Tell your teacher that you can’t stand doing hours of technical exercises, or that you hope to make All State this year. This doesn’t mean you’ll get out of technical exercises, but it does help your teacher perhaps find a way to make these necessary evils more fun or manageable for you. It doesn’t mean you’ll make All State, but your teacher will know what you are hoping for and will be able to evaluate you honestly to let you know what you have to do to achieve your goals.

Once lessons have begun, here are some tips:

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate!

Although it’s sometimes awkward to bring things up, honesty and open communication are the best policies here. A good teacher should be able to hear your request or issue, process it, and to be able to articulate to you clearly what he or she can (or cannot) do to help. For example, I can most definitely help a student who feels either over-faced or under-challenged, but I may not be able to help a student or parent who does not feel that my policies are workable due to their wishes for personal convenience. In the case of the latter, it may be better to find a teacher whose payment, attendance, practice and/or absence policies match your expectations (after first discussing possible changes with the current teacher and deciding whether the response was satisfactory or not).

Self-Evaluate:

If your reason for change is lack of progress, and you are not practicing enough, it’s not a good idea to hope that another teacher will fix that for you. Be sure to take responsibility for your own part of your progress or lack of progress. Be sure that during lesson time you have an open mind and give it your best shot to do what your teacher asks of you. You do have every right to ask polite and respectful questions along the way (and please, please do!), but choosing what you will do and what you won’t instead of trying to do it all can create issues. Conversely, your teacher should be open to your honesty about your aversions and difficulties and work with you to create solutions, together as a team.

Uninspired? Ask for Help:

I do understand in areas of “inspiration” that students sometimes feel in a funk. I cannot urge you more strongly to share this with your teacher! I recall at one point feeling like I wanted to quit lessons altogether (a very common feeling in about 8th or 9th grades) but thankfully, after discussing with my teacher AND my band director, they worked together to find more opportunities for me, more pleasing music to play, and to basically hold my hand through my tough transition time. Without letting them know how I was feeling, I may have quit long ago and missed out on a lifetime of music.

Your Teacher Should Tell You:

If your teacher has brought you as far as he feels he can (for example, if you are studying with someone who does not play your own instrument and/or your skills have developed beyond his level of expertise), it’s his job to pass you along to a colleague who can guide you to the next level. If you know this to be the case, it may be time to move on, or to ask for suggestions for a specialist in your particular instrument.

Be Careful of Comparisons:

Sometimes you may feel that you are not playing the same repertoire or playing at the same level as other students of the same age. This can be very upsetting if you are a bit competitive by nature. There is a possibility you could benefit from a change of teacher, but many times this is not the case. Some serious self-evaluation should happen first. (For example, are you putting in all the effort that you know you should be?) After thinking about this, please be sure to communicate to your teacher and to ask why you are not playing the music that you wish to play. Your teacher could have very good reason for this. Your teacher could be far more thorough than some other local teachers, or more insistent on the basics being covered first. Being behind (temporarily) could end up pushing you further ahead of others in the long run. Investigate and find out your teacher’s reasons.

It would be a shame to give up a wonderful teacher simply because you compared what you are doing to what someone else is doing and you were jealous! That said, there are times when perhaps you would indeed benefit from a more thorough approach, and the only way to know would be to take a few trial lessons with other teachers.

If, after exploring better communication and self-evaluation, you do decide to leave:

Be Open:

Please let your teacher know in a timely manner that you will be discontinuing lessons. As politely as you can, indicate why. If a teacher continually receives similar feedback from students leaving the studio, it can help her to change her approach for the future.

Be Thankful:

Don’t burn any bridges. Please do thank your teacher for his effort and his time. He was likely giving you all he had to give. Just because he wasn’t a match for you doesn’t mean he isn’t a perfect match for others. Also, you may have a need for this teacher’s help or expertise in the future. You don’t want to miss out on a great future relationship if you can help it.

Be Careful What You Say:

In my experience, a huge red flag regarding future relations with a parent or a student is when they trash talk another teacher (or even multiple teachers) during their opening interview. It’s OK to mention where your differences with your past teacher(s) may lie if you feel that is important, but you will gain respect as a potential student by treating your former teacher with equal respect. Remember, the music world is a small place. Word gets around. Teachers also tend to realize that a student or parent who will readily put down a previous teacher is someone who very possibly will be doing the same to us in the future if things don’t go their way. We are wary when we receive such introductions, and often for good reason.

Lessons can be such a rewarding experience. Communication is the key to a great relationship with your teacher. Keep that in mind, and you will pave the way for great experiences as you grow and learn and even as you change and move on. Best of luck!

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A Metronome Q & A for Students and Parents

5/13/2016

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Every player, young and old, must make friends with the metronome at some point in their learning. However, a metronome (fondly known in my studio as “Mr. Click”) won’t magically solve all of your counting problems. Before using a metronome, it’s important to understand when and why to use one.

What is a metronome?
A metronome is basically a clicking device, programmable by you to click steadily at various speeds of your choosing. The numbers used for each level of speed stand for how many clicks, or beats, the metronome is making per minute (commonly known as beats per minute, or BPM for short). Basically, a metronome is a time-keeping device.

Can a metronome help me count?
The short answer here is…no. A metronome isn’t a counting device. It’s a TEMPO device. So, this device won’t help you if someone tells you that you need to work at better counting. Working on knowing your counting (I’ll explain later) is up to YOU. What a metronome WILL do is help people who already know how to count well keep a steady beat, and help them to develop a sense of tempo and pulse.

So, if a metronome doesn’t count for me, what is it for?

A metronome helps you develop a steady sense of pulse. Playing along with a steady click can help you to figure our where you are rushing and where you might be slowing down. It can help fix bad habits such as speeding up drastically on the longer, "easier" notes. You must already understand how to count first!
The metronome is a good practice tool to help you achieve the required tempo of a piece, whether slow or fast. It will help you speed up if you're a bit of a slow-poke and it can help you speed demons learn how to play at slower, more moderate speeds.
You can use a metronome to measure and challenge your progress for everything you play from scales to etudes to solo pieces.
The modern metronome can be set to indicate a variety of different rhythms to help with more advanced practice and subdividing.
Metronome apps can be "programmed" to click in a sequence of different clicks for practicing difficult pieces in mixed meter. Apps can also be programmed to slow down and speed up gradually to help with those accelerandos and ritardandos in your music.

When am I ready to practice with a metronome?
This is the part I get really excited about. With young students, I don’t introduce the metronome right away, at least not on a regular basis. Instead of using the metronome, I might clap, march, or have students march along with the music to feel the pulse. So we do keep time, but we do it on our own. When we do decide to use the metronome regularly at home and in lessons, we always check to see if the following concepts are already in place:

You can keep a pulse and keep it on your own while playing.
You have an awareness of pulse. In other words, don’t be listening for your teacher’s clap or the click of a metronome before you play each note. Be able to FEEL when the next beat is coming. Can you feel the pulse in your body? Can you bounce along, march along, or tap along with your own music? Can you really feel it? If you can, you are probably ready.
You know your subdivisions. One thing that might help you with feeling the pulse is to know the little notes inside of the bigger ones. The little notes that when added together equal the bigger notes are known as subdivisions. They are the parts that make up the whole. Know them really well. Know your “note value family tree.” Be able to do music math without having to think twice about it.

Know which little notes fit inside of the bigger notes in every combination possible!

What does knowing my subdivisions do for me?
It makes you ready to use the metronome for what it’s REALLY for. It helps you be able to play more steadily on your own, even without a metronome. It helps you be as steady as possible even without something clicking for you. Here’s why: if you can substitute each longer note with the smaller notes that fill it up, and you sometimes do that during practice time, the note is guaranteed to be held out for the correct length. First you play the actual subdivisions out loud instead of the long note, and eventually you just think them while you play. Feeling, hearing and practicing subdivision are more important than anything else when it comes to being steady and accurate.

OK, OK, I know my rhythms. I can subdivide. Am I ready?
YES!! Now the fun part can begin. If you can already figure out and feel when the next beat will come, and know which notes should land on the beat, now you can use the metronome for what it’s really meant for.

So I just listen for the click and then play, right?
Be careful! You should already pretty much be able to feel when the next click will come. Your job is to pick a speed that works for you, play along with it, and notice whether or not you are matching the click. You will notice if you are ahead of the click or if you are falling behind. And you will adjust. If the click is too fast for you, then go ahead and choose a lower number of beats per minute. Very important: Don’t wait to hear the click. Just play, and NOTICE whether or not your playing is matching WITH the click. :)

I tried to play with the metronome and it's driving me crazy. It’s impossible to play with.
Well, you are not alone! Most people who don’t like using the metronome either don’t know their basic rhythms as well as they should or they just haven’t done it long enough or often enough. As with anything, you have to get used to it. Playing with a click can be distracting at first. But if you do it every day, pretty soon it will seem pretty normal to you. Ask your teacher to help you during lesson time.

Don’t give up, and good luck!

Please let me know if you have any questions!

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